


Coming Home

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-06-02
Updated: 1999-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-10 22:30:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11135961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: This story is a sequel toLove to Love You.





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Revelation #3: Coming Home

# Revelation #3: Coming Home 

Final part of the 'Revelations' trilogy,  
following 'Past Present' and 'Love to Love You'. If you have persisted  
so far, I salute you! :-) And thank you kindly for your patience. It  
stands on it's own, despite being part of an attempted larger picture.

Disclaimer: All characters are property of Due South and Alliance. No copyright infringement intended and all errors are my own. 

Trilogy Disclaimer: There is no story continuity. It is only linked by the theme. 

**Warning: m/m content. No sex. Potentially sappy. Any opinions expressed herein are my own.**

This is dedicated to Audrey who unintentionally inspired this whole trilogy. I can be reached for comments and criticisms about this piece or the whole at 

# Revelation #3: Coming Home 

by Hsu-Lyn Yap 

"Miss Besbriss!!" 

Elaine sighed and tried to make herself as small as she could, as she hunkered down behind her computer. Not again! She prayed in an almost hopeless fashion. Not again!! 

"Are you done searching for that speck of dust on your keyboard or should I come back later?" The cool sarcastic tones were directly above her now. Elaine dropped her head. She could almost *feel* that ruthless green gaze slicing through the piles of paper on her desk, piercing even through the mound of plastic and glass that formed the computer monitor. 

"What is it, Ray?" She looked up finally, into the furious face of Detective Ray Vecchio. 

"This, Elaine." A file landed on the desk with a loud thud. "What did I tell you about the Bennet case, Elaine?" 

"You wanted me to copy it for you. I did. So, what's the fuss?" 

"And what were you supposed to do with the file after you were done?" The voice was dangerously sweet now. Elaine cringed a little. She hated it when Ray was in one of his 'moods'. 

"Return it to Welsh. I did." She faced him down. 

"Yeah, right, you did!" He exploded. "I meant for you to return it to where you got it from, Elaine. His filing cabinet! He was not supposed to know that I have it! What do you think he called me in there, for, huh? To praise me? I don't think so! He wanted to fry my ass, all right?!" 

"Ray..." She attempted to interrupt him, but there was no stopping that tirade. She might as well try stopping a tidal wave. 

"It's all your fault, Elaine. I can't believe that you can't..." 

"RAY!!" She closed her eyes and screamed at him. That stopped him. It also stopped dead all the conversation in the office. She opened her eyes carefully. All eyes of police personnel and wrong-doers alike, were turned to the angry pair of people. A sweeping glare on their part made the others look away hurriedly. The low hum of conversation resumed itself, but it was evident that everyone was keeping an ear tuned in. 

"Ray, don't you ever accuse me of something like that again, okay?" Ray had never seen the civilian aide as angry as she was then. "I did everything you told me to. I sacrificed my lunch hour to get the file, and to copy it for you. I returned it to where I found it. It was on Welsh's table. I don't know how he knew, but it's *not* my fault, okay? Do I make myself clear?" 

"Look, Ray. I don't know what the hell is wrong with you. You go about everyday like a bear with a sore head, yelling at everyone, and it's pissing all of us off, all right? So, I'm telling you now. Snap out of it!" She took a deep breath. She had wanted to say that for 2 weeks now. Even if he yelled at her now, she had had her say, and it was the truth, whether he liked it or not. 

Ray did not snap at her as she had expected though. He was silent for a moment, and then, he gave a shame-faced grin. 

"I'm sorry for snapping at you, Elaine. Things have been rough, okay? I'm sorry." He apologised. "It's not your fault." 

"Apology accepted, Ray." She returned his smile, her sunny disposition reasserting itself. "I just wish you'll tell me what's bugging you. I mean, it's not easy working with you when you are in this mood, you know." 

"I know, Elaine. I'm really sorry. I take everything back, okay?" Ray apologised again and went to his desk. 

He threw the file into the over-flowing in-tray and settled down heavily into his chair. He looked at his messy desk, and shook his head wryly. In-tray... out-tray... what difference did it make? They were all full anyway! Full of open files. What a pain. 

He sat back and stared at the desk unseeingly. A white bundle of fur stirred under the desk, and got up to lay his head on his lap with a little whimper. 

"Hey there, Dief." He roused himself to ruffle the wolf's fur. He did not even complain when tufts of white fur were left on his charcoal grey suit. Dief whimpered again and turned his head, licking the hand now lying still on the arms of the chair. 

"I know how you feel, boy. It's so weird, but I know exactly how you feel." 

Ray gave a little disbelieving laugh. "I can't believe that I miss him too!" 

************************* 

"Raimundo? Is that you?" 

"Yes, Ma." Ray called back tiredly. He threw his car keys onto the side-table and hung up his coat. 

"You are home early." His mother bustled out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. 

"Yes, Ma." He leaned down to plant his customary kiss on her cheek, before dropping heavily onto the couch. 

"Had a bad day?" She had a little frown on her face. Her usually voluble son was uncharacteristically quiet today. It was not like him. 

"Not really, Ma." He gave her a weak smile and got off the couch. Patting her arm reassuringly, he told her, "Don't worry, Ma. I guess I'm just tired. I'll go have a shower." He turned to go up the stairs. At the foot of it, he turned and called to the white wolf who was sitting by the couch. 

"Come on, Dief." The wolf needed no further urging. He got up and bounded up the stairs ahead of Ray. 

"Not in your room, Ray!" His mother looked horrified. 

"It's all right, Ma. I won't let him on the bed." 

"But his fur! It will..." 

"It's all right, Ma." He disappeared up the stairs, leaving his mother watching after him in surprise and concern. Ray was wilful, but he hardly disobeyed her orders, even now, and yet, he would not hear a thing against Diefenbaker. She had nothing against the wolf of course. If he did not follow Ray to work, he was usually good company about the house. It was just that Ray was so unnaturally possessive over the animal. He would not let anyone, not even Frannie, take him out for walks. He insisted on doing it, no matter how tired he was after work, no matter how late he came back from work. 

Work. That was another thing. Ray had been coming back earlier and earlier these 2 weeks. And he had been getting quieter and quieter as well. He simply came home, had dinner, watched some tv, and went back upstairs. It was the same every day. His teasing and arguments with the rest of the family were starting to be a rarity. He was just quiet, serious, and... and he was also sad, whether or not he realised it. 

Ray was her son. She had not brought him up for the past 36 years without recognising his various different emotions, and moods. Only once had he been out of her constant supervision. When he had married Angie and moved out of the house. Even then, they had dropped by every weekend. And then, after the divorce, he had moved back into the house. It was an almost unspoken understanding. What was curious was that his current mood was not even like the bitterness and sadness she had had to deal with after his divorce. Then, he had been more open to her, more willing to talk to his mother. Ray was a very independent person, but he could always talk to his mother. She was the one person whom he would allow to cosset him, and give him what Frannie called 'TLC- Tender Loving Care', without that much of a complaint. That was why she was feeling the gap now. There was something on his mind, and he could not talk to her about it. 

**************************** 

*I'm home early again.* he thought, towelling himself dry. *Ma was wondering why. Geez! *I* was wondering why!* he gave a little laugh as he changed into the jeans and sweatshirt that he always wore at home. 

He realised the reason why, now. It had taken him one whole week to puzzle it out. The only reason why he made it home so early now was because he did not go by the Canadian Consulate to pick Benny up. That was all. In fact, the first time he had started doing so, the question had been "Why are you so late?" This time, it was "Why are you so early?" Time. It was all relative. 

Yep! Einstein's Theory of Relativity was at work again. It was what made 2 weeks seem like 2 years. 2 weeks... Had he *really* just been gone for 2 weeks? 

"He's just been gone 2 weeks today, Dief. Can you beat that?" Ray plopped down on the bed with another little laugh. Dief padded over and fixing a careful eye on Ray, jumped onto the bed. When that action elicited no response, he proceeded to make himself comfortable. 

"You know what Ma said about the bed, Dief." Ray was staring at the ceiling. Dief whined, and Ray turned to grin at him. "Okay, just this once. I know Benny lets you on his bed all the time. If you don't tell, I won't okay?" he winked conspiratorially at the wolf. 

"Strange how I miss the guy, Dief." Ray sighed. "I mean, there he was, always in my face, right? And suddenly, when he's gone, I miss him. I know this sounds really callous, but I don't even miss Ma and Frannie *this* much when they go off to Florida! In fact, I'm quite happy to see them go!" 

"There he was, getting in my face, being irritating, being a pain, getting me into trouble, and 2 weeks of what should be sheer bliss, I sit around moping. Geez! Elaine is right. I just haven't been myself, lately. Sick, huh? Time I got myself a life!" 

"You miss him too right? Hey, you are entitled. You're his pet after all. Grew up with him and all that." Ray ruffled Dief's fur absently. "What have I to miss him for, huh? I hardly know the guy. Just known him for 2 years. How long have you known him? Longer than me, I'm sure." 

"I wish you could talk to me, Dief. Probably help me answer a few questions." He looked over at the wolf again, and then grinned. "What am I saying?! I must really be losing it!" 

He stared up the ceiling, letting his mind drift. His tired body relaxed and he found himself entering that state of mind between sleep and consciousness. It was a strange feeling, but it was not uncomfortable, so, he let it be. 

*Wonder how he is now?* he thought aimlessly. *Wonder if he's okay. Wonder what he's doing now.* 

*Missing someone like this is weird, man. Really spooky! If he were here, what would we be doing now? Gee! Hard to say! Could even be crawling through sewers or something. Gross! One thing I can be sure, though. I wouldn't be here! Not at home, anyway.* 

*[sigh] I guess I've just gotten so used to having him around. Now he's gone, there's like this vacuum . Funny, when you think about it. I didn't have that much of a life before he came. After he came, I had even less of a life. And yet, I wouldn't mind having that again! It was interesting having him around. And comfortable. It's nice to do stuff together, and even if he did almost get me killed a few times, I guess because I didn't get killed, obviously!, it seems rather exciting, now. Boy! Things sure look different on hindsight! At that time, I could have gladly killed him with my bare hands. Now, I want to do it all over again. Ray, you are *definitely* losing it!!* 

*Wonder if this is natural. Hm... never really felt like this before. Well, maybe I did. Once. But that was different. Angie was my wife. I was in love with her. Hm... if I feel the same now, does that mean that...* 

His eyes flew open in horror. What was he thinking?! Did he actually think that?! Had he been asleep? Dreaming? If so, it sure was a weird dream!! 

"Ray! Dinner!!" Frannie's voice floated upstairs, jolting him back to reality. He sat on his bed, shaken. His thoughts raced through his head. Did he mean that? If he felt the same now, did it mean that... 

Did it mean that he was... in love with Fraser?! 

"Ray Vecchio!! Dinner!!" Frannie sounded irritated. 

"I'm coming." He called back, getting off the bed slowly. Dief cocked his head curiously to one side. 

*Has the obtuse human only *just* realised it?! Boy! How dumb can humans be?!* 

**************************** 

"Ma?" 

"Yes, caro. Come in." Mrs. Vecchio smiled at her son as he pushed open the bedroom door. He had been extra quiet at dinner tonight, and there had been a look on his face. It was of confusion and yet, understanding. She had been expecting him. 

"I wanted to talk to you, Ma." He sat on the bed thoughtfully. "I'm a little confused." 

"Yes?" she prompted, turning away from the mirror to face him. 

"Remember when I was first talking about marrying Angie?" he asked carefully. 

"Yes. You were so happy, I remember. I was happy for you too." 

"Do you remember once when Angie left to visit her Aunt in New York?" 

His mother laughed softly. "Yes, I do, Ray. You came running back home because you said you couldn't handle the quietness of the apartment. She was gone a week, and you were the most difficult person to live with for that one week! I remember you calling her every night. Frannie was ready to commit murder!" 

"I can be very difficult to live with, huh?" Ray grinned. 

"*Very* difficult, caro." She laughed again. "Is it about Angie? Have you seen her again?" 

Ray shook his head regretfully. "No, Ma. That part of my life is over. Angie and I are just friends. That is, when we do see each other." 

"You did love her, didn't you?" 

"Yes, Ma. I did." 

"I could tell. You were always so upset when she was not around. And after the divorce..." 

"I remember, Ma. It was a difficult time in my life. I don't really want to remember it again." Ray interrupted her gently. His mother nodded her understanding. 

"Ma, I ..." he paused, wondering how to broach the subject. 

"You think you are in love again, caro?" the question was unexpected. 

Ray looked up in surprise. His mother's dark eyes were soft and a little sad though she smiled at the unexpected guilt in his eyes. He found himself unable to meet her searching gaze, and his eyes dropped again. 

"Are you?" The question was asked again. 

"I don't know, Ma." He mumbled, smoothening the bedcovers absently. 

"Will it make you happy?" 

"I don't know." 

"Are you worried?" 

"I think so. I don't know what I'm thinking, really. I mean, I want to do the right thing, but I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to hurt you, Ma." The green eyes looked up, unconsciously pleading. 

"Caro," His mother crossed over to sit by him on the bed. "All I want is 

for you to be happy. If you are happy, it could never hurt me. I will not always be here for you and I appreciate you thinking of how I might feel. But it's time for you to lead your own life. Think carefully about what you want to do. If you are sure, I will understand. Or, I will try to understand and I will support your decision. I just don't want you to be sad, like you have been these 2 weeks." 

"But Ma, is what I'm thinking of doing wrong? I mean..." 

"Ray, if you love someone, truly, love can never be 'wrong'. It can be different, but it can *never* be wrong." 

"But what if... what if it's just me?" He suddenly felt like he was a kid again, seeking reassurance from his mother. 

"If it's not returned?" 

Ray nodded and sighed. To his surprise, his mother just gave a soft laugh and kissed him tenderly on the forehead just as she used to do, when he was a kid, and needed reassuring like he did now. 

"Ray, caro, don't be afraid to try. You'll never know until you try, and sometimes, it just needs that one person to dare to make a difference. The results might surprise you, caro." 

"What do you mean, Ma?" He looked a little confused. 

"You'll understand when you do, Ray. Do you feel better now?" 

"A little." 

"Good. Don't stress yourself out over it. Love is natural. Let it be. It's good that you have realised it. Everyone deserves some love in their life. And you have a lot to offer, caro." 

"Thanks, Ma." Ray gave his mother a warm hug, even if he did not understand all that she was trying to say. "Good night." 

"Good night, caro." She told him, and watched as he left the room, lighter-hearted then when he had entered. So, her suspicions had been right after all. He did not know how long she had rehearsed that speech, and argued with herself, to be the understanding mother that he had seen that night. She had seen the signs long before he had realised it, and it had taken her a long time to decide, finally, that her son's happiness was what mattered. After all, as she had told him, she would not always be around. What was the use of causing him to hide his feelings or to go on the sly? It would be cheating them both. Better that it be out in the open. And now that she had finally said it, she smiled to herself, she was actually starting to believe it! 

*************************** 

"I know we aren't supposed to be here, Dief. I just have to make sure that everything's okay, all right?" Ray rattled the keys in the lock of Apartment 3 J. To his surprise, the door opened quietly at his touch. 

He shot the wolf a look, but the white shadow was already slinking into the apartment. Ray was a little apprehensive. What if there were burglars? True, there was nothing to steal in Fraser's hovel anyway, but in this city, burglars were inevitably armed, and that was what he was worried about. 

*Damn! Left my gun at home!* He frowned when he instinctively reached for his gun and found his hand not meeting the cool steel he was used to. Of course! It was a Sunday! He was off-work! Double damn!! 

"Dief?" he called cautiously, edging the door open wider. *Damn it! The wolf's deaf!* he remembered a little belatedly. A loud barking was heard from within the apartment. 

"Dief?" he called a little louder. 

"Dief?!" there appeared to be an echo. An echo by a very familiar voice indeed. 

"Fraser?" Ray stepped into the apartment in surprise. 

"Ray!" Fraser stuck his head around the door of the bedroom. "I was wondering where Dief had come from." He knelt down to fondle the wolf who was prancing around ecstatically. 

"What are you doing back, Benny? I thought you were only getting back next week!" Ray had not budged from his position by the door. Somehow, seeing him just seemed to confirm all that he had tried to forget over the past few days. He could not control the irrational bubble of happiness that was slowly growing within him, threatening to explode. Neither could he control the tremor it reflected in his voice. *Best not speak!* He felt like laughing, crying... He was controlling the inane grin from spreading across his face with an almost superhuman effort. *This will not do, Vecchio! Pull yourself together!* 

But the grin won out. He was happy. Happy to see him again. If he was a canine, he would be reacting the same way as Dief! 2 and a half weeks was a *long* time to be away from someone you loved! Even if he had just realised that he loved him. 

"How was Canada, Benny?" he tried his best to keep his voice level. 

"Cold." Fraser laughed, and exited the bedroom. "No, it was good to go home, Ray. I enjoyed the break." 

He did too. He was looking more relaxed. Were his eyes really *that* blue? Was his smile really *that* bright? Had that little quirk of his eyebrow always been there? Ray caught himself staring, and tore his eyes away reluctantly. 

"Thanks for watching Dief for me, Ray. I was going to go over to your house 

once I finished unpacking. It would have been nice to bring him with me, but I didn't want to go through the hassle of the quarantine again." Fraser looked a little confused. Why was Ray so quiet? Was something wrong? 

"Why did you come back so soon, Benny? I thought you had a month." 

Fraser bit his lip. Darn! How was he supposed to answer that? That was the one question he had been dreading. What could he say? That the consulate needed him? No, that was a lie. They knew that he had taken a one month vacation, and had approved it accordingly. He still had another one and a half weeks to go. That Dief needed him? Well, apparently not! That he had gotten bored in Canada? Well, that was a partial truth. He had been bored, for some of the time. After the first few days, he had found himself missing the company of a very blustery, quick-tempered, wise-cracking Chicago cop. And once he realised that, the rest of the holiday had dragged by. Rather than risk moping around in the North, he had decided to come back to Chicago. It might be the big city, he might not get much of a vacation there, but there was where Ray was. And it would be where he would be happy. 

Now, how did he distil all that into one sentence?! 

"I... I guess... I ..." Damn! The words wouldn't come! 

Ray looked at him, watching the pale skin flush pink. Had he said something he should not have? All he had asked him was why he had returned so soon. Geez! *That* made him feel uncomfortable?! 

*Don't be afraid to try. You'll never know until you try.* His mother's words rang suddenly in his mind. Now was as good a time as any. Might as well get it out of the way while he had the guts. If he left it any longer, it would be harder. Best know now where he stood. 

"Benny... I ..." he decided to dip his toes into the water. This would be just an innocent statement. If the reaction was not what he expected, he would back off. Twist it around into something perfectly innocent. But the words stuck in his throat. Rejection would not be as easy to swallow as he had thought earlier. 

"Benny, I..." 

"Ray, I..." 

There was a pause. The two friends looked at each other a little embarrassedly. Ray made a little gesture to Fraser . 'You first.' It said. Fraser shook his head and inclined it. 'No, you.' Ray shook his head as well. A silence fell across the room. 

"I missed you." They both decided to speak at the same time. There was another embarrassed silence. 

"I missed you, Ray. So, I came back." Fraser broke the second silence. He was even redder than he was before. 

"I missed you too, Benny!" Ray suddenly grinned. "It's weird, huh?" 

"It was that, Ray." Fraser agreed. 

Ray still stood by the door. A wide expense of space separated him from Fraser who was standing in the middle of the apartment. It was awkward, but Ray made no move to go any closer. He knew what he wanted to say, and he would say it... soon, if he had enough guts to do it! And if there was going to be any rejection, the door afforded him a quick getaway. He would not have to stay in the apartment while the words...when they were said... floated around mocking him. No, he was a coward when it came to this. This was new to him, as he was sure that it was for Benny. And making a quick getaway made all the difference in the world! 

"Benny?" 

"Yes, Ray? Why don't you come in, Ray?" 

"It's okay, Benny. I don't think I'll be staying long." Ray bit his lip as he saw hurt and confusion cloud those sapphire eyes. Uh-oh! Wrong choice of words! "I didn't mean that, Benny. I mean, I didn't expect to find you here, and I was not expecting to stay here long. I was just going to check on your place, make sure that everything's okay..." Stop babbling, Vecchio! 

The eyes cleared. "Well, now that you are here, why don't you come in? Are you on your way somewhere else?" 

"No." Ray admitted reluctantly. 

"Then why don't you..." 

"Listen, Benny. I'll only say this once, okay? I mean, I'll only have the guts to say this once, so you gotta listen to me or miss it, okay?" Ray decided that it was time to take the plunge. The water, judging from the earlier experiment was lukewarm, at least. Not freezing cold. Lukewarm, he could handle. 

"What I'm going to tell you... hell, you can say no or whatever, okay? It's not binding on you or anything, all right? I want to make that clear. It's just what I... what I feel and... it may not be how you... feel, but I'd appreciate it if you just listen to me, okay?" 

"Okay, Ray. I'll listen." Fraser looked guarded. What on earth was Ray babbling about now? It was not like him to babble at all!! 

"Right." Ray took a deep breath. "After you left, I was thinking. I mean, I realised after a few days that I missed you, okay? I was a pain at the office, you can ask Elaine, and I was a pain at home. Ask Frannie. I just sort of missed having you around, even though I say that you are the most 

irritating person I've ever met. That's the truth, but that's not the point." 

"Ray?" 

"Don't interrupt! I *know* I'm talking a whole lot of nonsense right now. I'm trying to work my way round to what I want to say, okay?" Ray glared at him, and took another deep breath. 

"Okay. So, I was thinking about it, all right? And... I was trying to work out why I missed you so much. I mean, yes, you are my best friend, and all that. I guess it's only natural. After all, we spent so much time together and did so much together, and when you suddenly don't spend that time, and don't do those things that we did, it was like... I don't know," he sighed. "It was like... a black hole, you know? Like there was this huge hole in my life that I didn't know how to fill. So, what I'm trying to say is..." he stopped. The words played over and over in his head, but he couldn't bring himself to say them. Not because he was embarrassed, but because of how they might change the relationship they already had. Not everyone could understand, and not everyone would. Which camp did Benny belong to? 

"What I'm trying to say..." he began again. 

"Ray?" 

"I told you not to interrupt! I have to say this, all right? Just let me do this." 

"But, Ray?" 

"Benny!" 

"Ray, I know what you are trying to say." Fraser finally decided not to listen to Ray's irate exclamations. 

"No, you don't, Benny. How can you? I haven't said it yet! Please. Just listen to me, okay?." 

"Ray, I..." 

"Benny, just shut up! I love you, damn it! There! I've said it. Not in the way I thought I would, but I've said it, okay? Now, you can take that information and do what you want with it." He half-turned, his mind already hearing the words of rejection although none had been said. 

"Ray, where are you going?" Fraser's voice stopped him. 

"Well, aren't you going to say that I'm being stupid or crazy or...something?" Ray turned back to face Fraser. 

To his surprise, Fraser was smiling. There was an amused glint in his eyes as he took a step towards Ray. Ray's eyes narrowed, misinterpreting his smile. So, he thought it was funny, did he? He bit his lip and looked away. Benny would never know the courage he had needed to say all that. And all he could do was laugh?! Ray was, as usual, blowing things out of proportion. He turned once again to go, the feeling of dread, rising in him like the tide. He felt the tears pricking behind his eyelids. Oh god! Was he going to embarrass himself further by *crying*?! He'd better get out of there! What a disaster! 

"Ray, wait! Ray!" Fraser caught hold of his arm, stalling him. 

"Let go, Fraser." Ray refused to look at him, as he blinked furiously to keep his tears in check. 

"I'm not going to let go, Ray. Not until you promise that you won't leave me, just like that." Fraser's grip was still firm. "Do you promise, Ray?" 

Ray nodded wordlessly. 

"Okay, you promised, Ray." Fraser's grip lightened considerably, though he still kept his hand on Ray's arm. 

"I'm okay, Benny. Just say whatever you want to say. I can handle it." Ray finally regained his control, and turned back to face Fraser. 

"You are imagining the worst, Ray." Fraser smiled. 

"Is that supposed to be the profound statement I was waiting for?" Ray raised an eyebrow enquiringly. 

Fraser laughed. "No, this is. I love you too, Ray. I just wasn't as brave as you are to admit it." 

There was a silence again. Fraser raised his eyes heavenward in a gesture unconsciously learnt from Ray. These gaps of empty silences were starting to get trite. Once or twice, yeah, fine. They served their purpose. But three or four times? They could fill their time much more interestingly than with those empty silences! 

"Ray?" 

Ray turned to him, his green eyes confused. Evidently, Fraser's admission still had not pierced through his anticipated reply. He had been expecting at best, understanding. At worst, a rejection. He had just never expected something... reciprocal! 

"Ray?" Fraser called again. Damn the man! *He* was the one who had made the admission to start with. What was he going to do with it now? Was he just going to stand there, looking dazed and confused? Didn't he *plan* for if Fraser had reciprocated his feelings? Hadn't he guessed?! Well, okay. The last wasn't fair. He had not guessed that Ray felt that way about him as well. But hey! They both knew now. What next? 

"Ray?" Fraser peered at him. He took a deep breath. Well! If Ray was not going to do something, *he* would! "Ray," his voice was soft. "I don't know where your mind is right now, but I'm going to kiss you, and I don't want you to freak out, okay?" 

He leaned in, touching his lips to Ray's briefly, tentatively. To say that the reaction was instantaneous would be a lie. But there was *a* reaction at least. Ray blinked. Once, twice. Then, he grinned, suddenly, his eyes losing their dreamy, faraway look. The green gaze fastened itself on 

Fraser. 

"Sorry, Benny. I was miles away, and I missed that. Care to try it again?" 

Fraser did, and the second time was even better than the first. So much better in fact, that they did not hear the cell phone ringing in Ray's jacket pocket. 

"Yeah?" Ray tried to bring his breathing down to some semblance of control. 

"Oh hi, Ma!" he grinned at Benny who grinned back at him, and winked knowingly. Ray shook his head at him, and concentrated on the conversation with his mother. 

"No, Ma. I'm okay. I'm at Benny's. Yes, I know it's late. Benny's back, Ma. Yeah. He came back early. We were... talking." He grinned at Fraser who was shaking his head in mock admonishment. "I'm okay, Ma. I'm *very* okay." He grinned at something his mother said. Evidently his mother had understood. 

"Yes, Ma. I'll be back... late, I think." He tried not to laugh at the horrified faces Benny was making. "Yes, I'll tell him. Don't worry, Ma. Oh, one other thing, Ma. Thank you. You were right, the results were somewhat surprising. Yes... okay... good night, Ma. Love you too." He switched off the phone and Fraser moved in to kiss him again, but Ray held him back. 

"I promised Ma I'd pass you her message. She said to tell you, 'Welcome home, caro'. Her words..." he grinned, and finally met him with a kiss. "And mine as well. Welcome home, Benny, caro mio." 

THE END 

Hsu-Lyn Yap 

(c) copyright 1997 

tuktoyaktuk@hotmail.com 


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